Chiana's Blog

Radiopost

2009-04-08T15:37:00.003+01:00

finally got my collector's edition of OK Computer in the post 2day, as well as the Jigsaw Falling Into Place CD single.

went out earlier and did a spot of shopping at Lidl, got a few bits, but mainly I needed AA batteries for my doorbell and comfy shoe insoles which i got.

resting my feet today after overdoing it with my boots yesterday, I've put insoles in them now to protect my feet a bit more :)

Mummy mini-marathon 3

2009-04-08T07:15:00.002+01:00

Tomb of the Dragon Emperor

Not a bad movie, but not as slick or epic as the first two. It all seems a little smaller somehow, smaller sets, smaller scale, smaller risks. It also seems that someone has been reading The Book of the War, specifically The Red Burial. Still it's better than a lot of movies made that year or any other year and taken on its own merits it's quite an acceptable littoe action comedy adventure. There's a little in-joke regarding the recasting of Evy and Rick does not look old enough to be the father of his son. If they decide to make a 4th movie I'll watch it :)

Mummy mini-marathon 2

2009-04-07T18:58:00.001+01:00

The Mummy Returns

This film attempts to do two things, firstly it tells the story of the end of the Scorpion King, his final battle and ultimate defeat and his decent into evil as the slave of Anubis. Secondly it's a greatest hits package of the first movie, with everything that was good about the first one done better and bigger, and yet it still fails to capture the unique essence of the first movie. Perhaps its the pace of the movie as it alternates from breakjneck quest to deathly slow flashbacks? Maybe it's the guest cast who all seem to be having a competition to see who can go the most OTT in the evil stakes. Thirdly it could be the dodgy CGI Rock at the end, it looked bad when it was first released and even worse today. Apart from that it's a pretty pleasant movie and better than the two prequels. As for the next movie...

Mummy mini-marathon

2009-04-07T15:35:00.002+01:00

just a light break after watching Hi-De-Hi! and before starting on Dad's Army.

The Mummy
A scariier than thou remake of the original foot shuffling epic. There's guys, guys with guns, guys with guns and horses and guys with swords, horses and guns. Rick's one sexy action hunk too, mixing the classic Hollywood leading man zing with yummy good looks and the scary evil bad Mummy is nasty, scarey and evil and oddly Italianesque for an Egyptian high priest. The special effects are wonderful and hold up perfectly well ten years later, epecially the rain of fire sequences.

my boots arrived...

2009-04-07T11:01:00.001+01:00

...and I'm wearing them now :) The heel's a little bigger than what I'm used to but give me a few months wearing them and I think I might get used to them :)

Radiohead - I Might Be Wrong (Live Recordings)

2009-04-07T09:08:00.004+01:00

It started off as a single and ended up as a mini-album of live recordings and it's not a bad release either. Featuring good renditions of popular and obscure songs I Might Be Wrong captures the spirit of the band perfectly. My favourite songs on this release are 'The National Anthem' (I can play the bass line), 'Morning Bell' & 'Everything In It's Right Place'.

Tracklisting
The National Anthem (originally appears on Kid A)
I Might Be Wrong (originally appears on Amnesiac)
Morning Bell (appears on both Kid A & Amnesiac)
Like Spinning Plates (originally appears on Amnesiac)
Idioteque (originally appears on Kid A)
Everything In Its Right Place (originally appears on Kid A)
Dollars and Cents (originally appears on Amnesiac)
True Love Waits (Non-Album Track, this is its first and only release)

Hi-De-Hi Marathon - Part 11

2009-04-07T07:13:00.002+01:00

Pigs Might Fly, The New Broom, Orphan Of The Storm, God Bless Our Family, Only The Brave, September Song, Tell It To The Marines, Marry Go Round, The Perils Of Peggy, Let Them Eat Cake, Wedding Bells, The Wind Of Change

The last two seasons of the show have somehow lost their sense of humour, ironically this is the storyline of one episode where Spike worries that he's not funny anymore. I think the problem is that Clive is a stooge and not a straightman. Jeff was the perfect foil for Ted's jokes, whereas Clive is now part of them and the humour just doesn't work anymore. Barry's stiff sarcastic exchanges with Yvonne were great too, now Julian gets on well with her so that's another source of humour gone. Luckily Uncle Sammy is a bit more of a humorous figure, his comments about hygiene are priceless. There's still a few laughs to be had here and there though (Mainly Clive getting out and back into his engagement with Gladys), but mainly the series tends to deal with more serious subjects like sexual harassment, the price of success, bullying and failed romances. All in all though it's been a good series and one that's matured and developed over its run, characters have left and new ones arrived, changing the dynamic of the show with it. Maybe one day Justin Lee Collins can reunite the cast in one of his specials?

Lorne no more...

2009-04-06T18:19:00.003+01:00

Andy Hallett, best known as Krevlorneswath of the Dethwok Clan (aka Lorne) in the TV series Angel has died, after a 5 year battle against a heart disease. He landed his first break after he was dragged on stage at a concert to sing with Patti LaBelle - the performance kickstarted his career as a singer-songwriter. Hallett was spotted during a revue at a Los Angeles nightclub by Buffy The Vampire Slayer creator Joss Whedon, who created the demon character Lorne in the show's spin-off Angel just for him. The star appeared in 76 episodes before series ended in 2004. Hallet's subsequent ill health ended his acting career. He died on Sunday at Cedars-Sinai Hospital in LA, with his father Dave Hallett by his side.

no post today...

2009-04-06T18:17:00.001+01:00

...well some £5 off Tesco vouchers, which I used one of to get a few bit in :)

Today's random list

2009-04-06T09:17:00.002+01:00

my ten favourite colours

1. Black (what else would a Goth choose as her favourite colour?)
2. Hot Pink
3. Pastel Green
4. Powder Blue
5. Nutmeg
6. White
7. Purple
8. Olive Green
9. Auburn
10. RAF Blue (ala Captain Jack Harkness's great coat)

I have the week off work :)

2009-04-06T09:11:00.003+01:00

This is my normal Monday off, I've taken Tues to Thurs off my annual leave and Friday is Good Friday so I only have to work this Saturday, then I have next Monday off too which would be my Monday in, which quite frankly is a nightmare nine hour day!

Waiting For My Sexy Boots

2009-04-06T08:50:00.003+01:00

I ordered some very sexy boots from Doreen's Fashions on Saturday (sorry I forgot to mention them before now) and I'm hoping they'll be delivered today so I can mince about in them around the house doing the housework (dusting, washing up & ironing) :) This is another item off my 'things to buy before birthday' list :)

5 Days to Who's Day

2009-04-06T07:41:00.000+01:00

Yes it's only 5 days to the first quater of the final mini-season of Doctor Who. They've promised us a feel-good adventure that celebrates success and achievement, yet also darkness and horror, so I don#t quite know what to expect yet, other than a battered red double decker bus and a lot of sand...

Beatles stars reunite at concert

2009-04-06T07:37:00.000+01:00

Former Beatles Sir Paul McCartney and Ringo Starr performed together at a New York charity show on Saturday night. Sir Paul headlined the concert, in aid of The David Lynch Foundation, and sang a string of Beatles and solo career hits before bringing Starr on stage. The pair performed the Beatles song, With a Little Help from My Friends together before embracing afterwards. Sir Paul also paid a tearful tribute to the late John Lennon before playing Here Today, a song he wrote for him.

Hi-De-Hi Marathon - Part 10

2009-04-06T07:31:00.002+01:00

The Great Cat Robbery - An hour long storyline sees the staff drug the campers and dig up chalets for a stolen necklace, so they can claim the reward, the South Sea Island Leg Over Race is funny too, I'd volunteer to be a virgin bride too ;)

It's Murder & Who Killed Mr Partridge? - A two-parter that writes Mr Partridge out of the show, despite the actor leaving the series over a year ago.

Spaghetti Galore - Gladys's birthday is a real treat for her, until she finds out that she has to eat the most disgusting meal ever invented, three times!

A Lack Of Punch - Ted & Spike find a potential replacement for Mr. Partridge, a barely recognisable M. Alphose from 'Allo 'Allo!

Ivory Castles In The Air & Man Trap - A two-parter that deals with a clean teeth award and Gladys thinking Clive wants to marry her, and Ted makes Clive pop the question to save Gladys' honour...

Hi-De-Hi Marathon - Part 9

2009-04-05T07:39:00.003+01:00

Off With The Motley - Peggy gets a new job but she doesn't like it and Spike wrestles a fake alligator.

Hey Diddle Diddle, Who's On The Fiddle? - Spike and Peggy think Clive is a spy much to the ire of the other staff members...and it's the final time we'll see Mr. Partridge too...

Raffles - Clive is in trouble with a debt and Ted tries to raffle his old car off to raise some cash.

Hi-De-Hi Marathon - Part 8

2009-04-04T06:44:00.003+01:00

The Epidemic - The final story of the 1959 season and it's a rather low-key affair and after this story everyone will be asking: Wot No Jeff?

Together Again, Ted At The Helm, Opening Day - A loose trilogy of episodes that deal with the staff returning to the camp at the start of the 1960 season, then getting the news that Jeff won't be returning. Ted briefly thinks he'll get the job but it goes to Clive, a work shy chain smoking heavy drinker who isn't half sexy. The staff then go to greet the new campers on opening day...

started collecting The Saint DVD partwork

2009-04-03T06:36:00.001+01:00

I used to like watching it when I was a kid, and as an adult I find Roger Morre very sexy as Simon Templer :)

the end of the world is near...

2009-04-03T06:31:00.001+01:00

Experts are digesting the G20's "historic" trillion-dollar bid to pull the world out of recession after Gordon Brown hailed the creation of a "new world order".

we are all so bleeped!

Hi-De-Hi Marathon - Part 7

2009-04-03T06:27:00.002+01:00

Empty Saddles - Not a bad story and the ending is very funny

The Marriage Settlement - Jeffrey gives his wife grounds and catches food poisoning!

The Graven Image - Joe Maplin gets all weird and Harold Fox makes his first appearance in the series...

Peggy's Pen Friend - Quite a boring episode really, hardly anything really funny happens at all...

Hi-De-Hi Marathon - Part 6

2009-04-02T18:46:00.002+01:00

Sing You Sinners - Not a bad story, I liked Spike's costume as Adam

Maplin Intercontinental - Not a bad episode

All Change - Quite a funny ending to a pretty boring story

Concessions - Spike flops badly doing Ted's spot in the ballroom

Save Our Heritage - A feel good story but very little about it is actually funny

We're From America

2009-04-02T07:19:00.001+01:00

I love the new Marilyn Manson song :)

new dress arrived

2009-04-01T20:53:00.000+01:00

and it looks and feels great to wear :) I think green is very much my femme self, it's a lot more lively and interesting than dark blues and black and there's so many shades to investigate too :)

Hi-De-Hi Marathon - Part 5

2009-04-01T06:41:00.001+01:00

Trouble And Strife
Ted's ex-wife threatens him with divorce unless he pays her the alimony he owes...

Stripes
There's much carry on when Gladys is made chief yellow coat and she decides to sew extra rings on her sleve to show her authority, except the other yellowcoats get uppity and start sewing more rings onto their coats in return!

Co-Respondent's Course
Jeff's wife is having her affair and her new boyfriend wants to have his cake and eat it, the cad!

It's A Blue World
Ted gets hold of a sexist porn movie and sells tickets to the male campers, but the police are onto the ring of vice...

Eruptions
Ted's act gets ruined night after night and when a new display upstages him he decides enough is enough...

The Society Entertainer
Spike falls for a camper and tries to change his act, until Ted and Peggy ruin things for him, for his own good...

Hi-De-Hi Marathon - Part 4

2009-04-01T06:31:00.002+01:00

Nice People With Nice Manners
Tvonne & Barry organise a party and give Peggy the invitations to deliver, with hilarious results when she loses them!

Carnival Time
Sgt. Wilson guest starts as Jeff's former boss who tries to get Jeff to return to Cambridge

A Matter Of Conscience
Peggy gets to be an honoury Yellow Coat for the day when the rest of them refuse to go along with one of Joe Maplin's crooked schemes...

The Pay-Off
Part 2 of the storyline sees Joe Maplin send Jeff £1000 to bribe people with, which Ted is arrested carrying after Jeff wants nothing to do with it

shopping spree :)

2009-03-31T17:15:00.001+01:00

bought a green kaftan dress , the deluxe The Bends reissue boxset album by Radiohead, seasons 6 & 7 of Dad's Army on DVD and Doctor Who: The Chaos Pool on CD audio book.

Hi-De-Hi Marathon - Part 3

2009-03-30T06:59:00.001+01:00

No Dogs Allowed, If Wet - In The Ballroom, Peggy's Big Chance, Lift Up Your Minds, On With The Motley, A Night Not To Remember, Sausages Or Limelight

The stories feature elements of an ongoing loose continuity but for the most part are all self-contained revolving around one major incident and one main character from the enesemble with the others either trying t make something happen or stop it from happening. Eg Jeff has to hide a pet dog in his chalet and everyone else thinks he's sleeping with the campers! Peggy impersonates a shark in a pool wheeze (with the assistance of most the other staff) and nearly drowns! Jeff tries to get the campers to listen to classical music with poor results. Ted gets the chance to move up with his career and everyone tries to help him succeed and Spike debates wether to get engaged or continue with his career as an entertainer. There's a lot of good character moments in the episodes that most TV shows these days wouldn't allow and they work for the benefit of the show, adding more depth to the characters makes the stories stronger, the laughs louder and the sadness more biting.

The Life of Brian

2009-03-29T07:30:00.000+01:00

concludes the mini Monty marathon :) I'll get the series sometime later this year, as i still have many episode of Hi-De-Hi to watch yet :)

rain

2009-03-28T15:44:00.000Z

good job I didn't put any washing on the line because as soon as I left home for work this morning the heavens just opened and there was even sleety snow at one point!

Monty Mini Marathon 1

2009-03-28T06:14:00.000Z

The Meaning of Life
Not as bad as its rep suggests but not the best film either. It's more like ther series of old, but with a strange very dark humour running through it and some really weird songs that add to the feeling of the macare oh and Simon Jones (of The Hitch Hikers Guide to the Galaxy - the proper telly one) is in it too.

And Now For Something Completely Different
Purporting to be the best of the first two seasons it never the less misses out a few of my favourites but you can't have everything, although i wouldn't mind Eric Idle's guidance councellor having me...

The Holy Grail
Not a bad film that showcases the best team en semble and individually, it never the less feels sketch showy at times, but nothig nearly like the previous two films...

Hi-De-Hi Marathon - Part 2

2009-03-26T06:42:00.000Z

The Beauty Queen Affair - The camp organises a sexist beauty pagent for the titilation of the men and one of the fathers tries to bribe Jeff to let his daughter win, it's all very sexist and not that funny at all.

The Partridge Season - Partridge gets pissed and sings some dirty songs...

The Day Of Reckoning - Fred thinks someone from his past is after him but it turns out to be some other criminal and Jeff tries to pay him off...

Charity Begins At Home - Ted tries to fleese the campers and Jeff finds out and puts the money to good use instead...

Hottest Blokes in Sci-Fi

2009-03-25T18:23:00.000Z

a random list of the sexiest guys in science fiction tv & movies...

1. Fox Mulder (The X Files)
2. The Doctor (Doctor Who)
3. Steven Hart (Primeval)
4. Dr. Bashir (Deep Space 9)
5. Gaius Baltar (Battlestar Galactica)
6. Lee 'Apollo' Adama (Battlestar Galactica)
7. Ianto Jones (Torchwood)
8. Captain Jack (Torchwood)
9. Cam Mitchell (Stargate)
10. Sawyer (Lost)

Hi-De-Hi Marathon - Part 1

2009-03-25T18:08:00.000Z

Hey Diddle Diddle (pilot episode)
A good general introductory episode that sees the entertainment staff arrive at Maplin's holiday camp for the start of the season and it covers (in montage form) the first week. All the main cast and the minor cast are given some sort of introduction and we begin to see character dynamics that will play out for the rest of the series.

Desire In The Mickey Mouse Grotto
The plot revolves Ted having an affair with Kaffy Beale from EastEnders and then framing Jeff for it, there's much hilarity as the over protective parents try to control their hormone fuelled daughter and fail dramatically when she tries it on with Jeff!

Quantum of Solace

2009-03-24T06:29:00.001Z

I managed to save £6 by pre-ordering it (which I put towards a sexy new nightie) the film features the sexy Daniel Craig in action once more as Bond, there's some cars, guns, explosions and even an aeroplane but all that's there just to fill in the time between closeups of Daniel looking handsome and sexy :)

Hot House - Part 1

2009-03-23T17:50:00.002Z

just downloaded the MP3 (I'll get the full CD sometime next month) The story starts off pretty average, lots of stuff about the environment, rainforests etc to set the tone for the guest villain - the Krynoid. The Doctor & Lucie get mixed up with a nutty maniac, I'm looking forward to part 2 as the cliffhanger is interesting and potentially very nasty...

Orbis

2009-03-23T17:19:00.000Z

The Doctor isn't really dead and Lucie's being played by the Headhunter. A small scale story after the epic finale wraps up a lot of things and sets up some new things. The Doctor is back, older, not wiser, grumpier and less pro-human than before. The Doctor & Lucie try to out play Headhunter but in doing so they do exactly what she wants them to do and in the end Orbis is destroyed, leaving the Doctor and Lucie together in the TARDIS again.

Sisters of the Flame & The Vengeance of Morbius

2009-03-23T16:22:00.000Z

Sisters of the Flame
A rather mundane tale that opens up towards the end into something more interesting. There's a lot of running about in space, lots of shouting and arrogance, mainly from The Sheriff of Nottingham, I mean the time lord Straxus. Things finally start to look up when the Sisterhood sentance the Doctor & Lucie to death.

The Vengeance of Morbius
Things ramp up to a big finish, the Doctor & Lucie manage to escape their death sentance thanks to Straxus being used as a tissue donor to build a new Morbius. Morbius is rather less ranty than before, less psychotic too, sort of, although he comes across more as a weak imitation of John Simm's Master from the telly show.

Grand Theft Cosmos & The Zygon Who Fell To Earth

2009-03-23T13:33:00.002Z

Grand Theft Cosmos
A rather witty story about stealing invaluable works of art, Headhunter & Karen make a return appearance from season 1 of the 8th Doctor audios and prove to be no match for the Doctor & Lucie.

The Zygon Who Fell To Earth
Lucie visits her Aunty Pat again (they met in season 1) luckily this time there's no glam rock involved, instead there's Zygons, although they're not as scary as the glam rock. It turns out Aunty Pat has married a Zygon (and is probably shagging him too, the tramp) and the other Zygons want their renegade leader back. There's a refernce or two to Terror of the Zygons and also (presumably) a reference to the BBV Zygon audio The Barnacled Baby or the BBC book Sting of the Zygons. This audio would take place sometime before the BBC book The Bodysnatchers which also features the Zygons, the 8th Doctor & Sam Jones).

MPs' expenses inquiry considered

2009-03-23T08:21:00.000Z

A wide-ranging inquiry into MPs' expenses is being considered by the independent Committee on Standards in Public Life, the BBC has learned.

The investigation could also consider MPs' pay and their office expenditure. It comes as employment minister Tony McNulty says he did not break any rules by claiming an allowance for a home in London where his parents live. Mr McNulty himself said the rules should be looked into after claiming a second-home allowance for the property in his Harrow East constituency, in north-west London. His main home is eight miles away in Hammersmith, west London.

Earlier this year Home Secretary Jacqui Smith had to defend her actions after it emerged she had claimed about £116,000 in expenses for her family home in the West Midlands after declaring her sister's property in London - where she stayed four days a week - as her main residence.

Brave New Town & The Skull of Sobek

2009-03-23T08:14:00.000Z

Brave New Town
Last year we had Daleks and Cybermen, this time it's Autons, and rather rubbish ones at that, or better ones, depending on your point of view. They're much more human seeming, acting just like real people instead of mobile fashion dummies. The rest of the plot makes no sense at all, a group of soldiers driving about shooting people and abducting them for no apparent reason seems to happen just for the sake of having something happen. The resolution is quite original but not that well done in the audio format.

The Skull of Sobek
It's like Punch and Judy without Punch and Judy, it's all about the crocodile and the Peter Pan references are so predictible as to be obselete. It's a rather boring little shouting match in the end, rather less well executed than Let That Be Your Last Battlefield. Both warring sides need their heads banging together before being told to grown up and do something real with their lives. Lucie becoming a nun is quite funny though...

Nirvana to get vinyl re-release

2009-03-22T07:51:00.000Z

The bulk of Nirvana's back catalogue is to be re-released on vinyl this year for the first time. The Seattle grunge band, led by the late Kurt Cobain, recorded just three albums between 1989-93 before Cobain killed himself in 1994. The first record to be released is their seminal album Nevermind, most famous for the hit single, Smells Like Teen Spirit. Nirvana's Unplugged, recorded live for an MTV show, has also been re-mastered.

Does anyone still have a record player these days?

Dead London & Max Warp

2009-03-21T17:55:00.000Z

Dead London - An interesting premise of having an adventure set inside someone's mind, as the TARDIS gets caught up in the mind of an alien and they find it very hard to get out again.

Max Warp - A rather poor story that lampoon the boring car show Top Gear (it's not a patch on the much more superior Fifth Gear - if you like car stuff - which I don't that much to be honest). The guest cast are all good in an embarassing way and the simplistic plot leads me to wonder how desperate they when making it as to not have anything better instead. Paul McGann reading out the Liverpool phone directory would be better imo.

relaxing weekend

2009-03-21T10:57:00.000Z

I plan to do very little this weekend and be a lady of leisure as much as possible :) Now that I've finished my 'Allo 'Allo marathon I plan to watch very few DVD's for the next couple of days, just Sex and the City - The Movie and (when it arrives) Quantum of Solace. I have some Doctor Who audio books to catch up on and so will listen to them for the next week or so.

'Allo 'Allo Marathon Part 14

2009-03-21T10:38:00.000Z

it's the end of the war...

Tarts and Flickers - The Gestapo are in drag again, and Von Klinkerhoffen decides to assassinate Hitler with an exploding picture frame! The end is almost here as all thoughts of winning the war by the Germans has gone, now they're talking about surviving the end of the war.

A Fishy Send Off - The Germans play golf, Rene and the Resistance organise a fish float and the episode ends with the second Allied invasion of France (the first one having failed) this time the Germans prepare to flee instead of fight.

A Winkle in Time - In the last hours of the occupation Rene is uncovered as Nighthawk by the Germans and they decide to let him off as it's too late now to do anything about it. The British Airmen return, having been shot down again, and the British army arrive in town to secure the surrender of the german and the capture of their forces, including the Gestapo. The war is finally over with Nouvion liberated. The story then skips forwards many years to when Rene and co are all aged, Gruber, Von Strom & Helga return to Nouvion to see the old sights and meet old friends, they discover the missing portrait of the Fallen Madonna and Rene decides to elope with Yvette at long last. A good ending to the series instead of leaving it open and unresolved. I've enjoyed this marathon a lot, it was good too to watch the whole (and very complicated) plot strands begin, develop, interweave and then finally end, well all but one: whatever did happen to the cuckoo clock?

'Allo 'Allo Marathon Part 13

2009-03-21T06:47:00.000Z

A Woman Never Lies, Hitler's Last Heil, Awful Wedded Wife, Firing Squashed, A Fishful of Francs, A Swan Song, Gone with the Windmill, A Tour de France, Dead Man Marching

Armed robbery, people dressed as Hitler and Goering, the return of the ruthless communist resistance and Rene is apparently killed again, twice! The series is nearing its end now, as armed British soldiers are seen in occupied France for the first time, but at least it's trying something new and somewhat diturbing by making Rene the love slave of the communists!

'Allo 'Allo Marathon Part 12

2009-03-21T06:42:00.000Z

Up the Crick Without a Piddle, The Gestapo Ruins a Picnic, The Spirit of Nouvion, Leg it to Spain!, Prior Engagements, Soup and Sausage, René of the Gypsies, A Bun in the Oven & Arousing Suspicions

Rene & Edith end up in England and meet Hans who is now working for the British army! They return to France and get caught up in various things like the German propaganda newspaper, the escape of the British airmen (which fails again) before a sudden jump forward 2 years in time. This plot device is the beginning of the end for the series as it takes them from the middle of occupied France towards the time of the liberation. Yvette thinks she is pregnant too and Rene is the father!

'Allo 'Allo Marathon Part 11

2009-03-19T06:35:00.002Z

Crabtree's Podgeon Pist - Vewry little happens really, it's mainly all set up for the next episode and Crabtree is hard;y even in the episode even though it's named after him!

Rising to the Occasion - Instead of getting the airmen to freedom in a ballon Fanny and Ernest are swept away! Quite a funny ending to season 6. Plus Von Klinkerhoffen going mad is quite amusing too.

A Quiet Honeymoon - Alberto Bertorelli must be a time lord as he has regenerated! Von Flockenstuffen takes over the town and at first everyone thinks its a good idea. Fanny and Ernest arrive back eventually too only to be arrested.

An Almighty Bang - Watching everyone turn on Von Flockenstuffen is done quite well. His plan to kidnap Churchill on a painting holiday does not go down well and it's Rene who actually gets the credit for it all.

Fleeing Monks - Rene tries to avoid getting the collaborator's medal by pretending to be a monk. The Gestapo follow him to the monestry to try and locate the airmen. It all goes wrong of course...as usual...

Doctor Who DVD Release Schedule

2009-03-19T06:32:00.002Z

just found out when the next few DVD's are going to be released :)

20th April - Image of the Fendahl (4th Doctor & Leela)
11th May - The Deadly Assassin (4th Doctor)
25th May - Planet of the Dead (10th Doctor & Zoe from EastEnders)
22nd June - Delta and the Bannermen (7th Doctor & Mel)

(there goes my theory that they were holding the whole of season 24 back to sell as a box set this christmas)

'Allo 'Allo Marathon Part 10

2009-03-18T16:46:00.002Z

Desperate Doings in the Graveyard - Gruber seeing the ghost of Rene's dead twin brother is hilarious, even if it needed almost a whole episode of build up story to make it halfway plausible.

The Gestapo for the High Jump - The cast dressed like they're in Rocky Horror is quite funny and the scared Italians refusing to do a parachute jump is really funny.

The Nouvion Oars - This one isn't quite so funny until the final moments when the German rowing boat is sunk by the periscope.

The Nicked Airmen - Helga trying to seduce Herr Flick is funny, as is the Resistance trying to rescue the airmen.

The Airmen De-Nicked - Not so much a funny sequel, although the handcuff joke was pretty funny

The Crooked Fences - The sight of five people sitting in a room with brown paper bags on their head is hilarious, especially as they all give each other away.

Attack of the Cybermen

2009-03-17T17:54:00.000Z

A fun 80's stroll down memory lane, or rather Totters Lane, as the TARDIS retuns to the site of its very first location, the junk yard at 23 Totters Lane, listed as Susan Foreman's place of residence which turned out to be where she and her grandfather hid the TARDIS. Flashforward 22 years relative time and the 6th Doctor and Peri return drawn by a signal to discover old foes and very old foes at work, in a complex plot involving Cybermen, Cryons, time travel and changing history. The Doctor barely manages to survive and only does so thanks to the help of former adversary Lytton (last seen in Resurrectiuon of the Daleks) who dies to save the time lord and thus complete his mission to protect the Cryons from being destroyed (along with their home planet Telos) by the Cybermen. The script mixes story strands from The Tenth Planet, The Tomb of the Cybermen with Resurrection of the Daleks and 100,000 BC (wrongly called An Unearthly Child to this day by the BBC). This story is not perfect but it's not bad either, certainly an enjoyable way to spend an evening and the commentary is pretty interesting too as the cast chat about their memories of the story and their fellow cast members.

Dilbert

2009-03-16T18:08:00.001Z

I've added the Dilbert widget to the sidebar :)

Doctor Who Day

2009-03-16T18:04:00.001Z

I bought The Sontaran Games today (I worked out the companion substitute was a Rutan before the end of chapter 2!) and when I got home Attack of the Cybermen (on DVD) and Orbis (on CD) were waiting on the mat for me :) I'll watch Attack... tonight as I need a break before watching anymore 'Allo 'Allo episodes.

blogger keeps logging me out

2009-03-16T18:03:00.001Z

everytime i post something and then view it I have to sign in again to post something else :(

Shuttle Discovery heads for space station

2009-03-16T18:01:00.001Z

Discovery blasted off from Florida's Kennedy Space Centre - a welcome sight for Nasa officials anxious to get the flight going after a month of delays. A hydrogen leak had prevented Discovery from lifting off last Wednesday and, before that, hydrogen valves kept the shuttle grounded for weeks in February. Commander Lee Archambault and his crew, which includes two former schoolteachers, should reach the international space station on Tuesday. They are delivering one last set of solar wings for the space station and some critical equipment for a relatively new water-recycling system.

Python Swallows Pet Dog

2009-03-16T17:54:00.002Z

Patty Buntine became worried when her Maltese terrier-cross Bindi failed to show up for breakfast at her home in Australia's Northern Territory. "She was always there so I got worried and went to look for her," she said. "I went around the side of the house and that's when I found the snake. It couldn't move and had its head up in a striking position. "It's belly was bulging - it looked like a great big coconut was inside it. I knew straight away that it had ate Bindi.

She should have been more concerned that it could get though an obviously poor fence into the garden rather than an act of nature. In fact she should have really been concerned that the snake could have eaten an unattended baby, then how would she feel if that happened?

been bad this weekend

2009-03-16T06:56:00.000Z

with hayfever, possib;y cold on top of that and i think a touch of food poisining too, still I haven't let it prevent me too much from doing my housework, just slow me down, as I'm still on doing the washing, I'll do the ironing tonight. I've done a bit of dusting and hoovering too but not that much. I hate being ill and try to act normally because the housework still needs doing whether I am ill or not.

'Allo 'Allo Marathon Part 9

2009-03-16T06:46:00.000Z

I really need to get a life as I watched 13 episodes yesterday to complete the super-long season 5! The Reluctant Millionaires, A Duck for Launch, The Exploding Bedpan, Going Like a Bomb, Money to Burn, Puddings Can Go Off, Land Mines for London, Flight to Geneva, Train of Events, An Enigma Variation, Wedding Bloss, Down the Drain & All in Disgeese. The main plots involve the stolen Gestapo money which turns out to be forged. A new plan to get the Airmen away back to Blighty, plastic explosive disguised as christmas puddings, four stolen bars of gold and a stolen Enigma machine. There's 3 air raids in this season, the first real sign there's a war on apart from the occassional set to with the Resistance and the German soldiers. For only the second time in the show the series ends on what could be considered a proper ending if the show was not cancelled.

Majority 'want Iraq war inquiry'

2009-03-16T06:45:00.000Z

Almost three quarters of British people believe there should be a public inquiry into the invasion of Iraq, an opinion poll suggests. The BBC Radio 5 Live poll also found almost two thirds are not convinced UK soldiers should be kept in Afghanistan.

'Allo 'Allo Marathon Part 8

2009-03-15T13:16:00.000Z

Listen very carefully I shall type this only once...I watched a few more episodes this morning to finish off volume 1 of season 5: René - Under an Assumed Nose, The Confusion of the Generals, Who's for the Vatican, Ribbing the Bonk. The plans to invade england advance then retreat as the german generals are mistaken for escaping british airmen. Von Strom is blamed for this and so he plans to sell the painting to pay the vatican to hide him, so Rene must go back to the Communist Resistance to retrieve them, but everyone is captured and General von Klinkerhoffen won't pay the randsom! So the DeGaulle resistance plan to get the real painting, give the fakes to the german officers and kill off the germans and the communists in one go but cannot because the communists have Mimi and the real paintings so they resort to break into a bank and steal the money to pay the randsom themselves to get Mimi and the paintings back. It's all very complicated but not too much.

'Allo 'Allo Marathon Part 7

2009-03-15T04:02:00.002Z

it's getting more like a soap opera now with plots lasting over several episodesinstead of being self contained, so I'm just going to do one quick review for the eps I watched yesterday... Dinner with the General, The Dreaded Circular Saw, Otherwise Engaged, A Marriage of Inconvenience, No Hiding Place, The Arrival of the Homing Duck & Watch the Birdie. The town is preparing for a high level meeting between top German generals to plan the invasion of Britain, however the Gestapo believes they are meeting to plan the assassination of Hitler! The Resistance plan to infiltrate the meeting and obtain photographs of the plans. Meanwhile Rene is captured by the communist resistance and it is revealed he once had a love affair with their leader when they were younger. Rene is forced to marry Denise but Edith substitutes herself for her, but Yvette and Mimi substitute the real priest for Crabtree so the wedding is not legal. This earns them the wrath of the communists and the swear revenge. The airmen meanwhile try to give themselves up but the Germans believe they are french peasants being cheeky! It's all rather slow going but steady as the plot advances slowly and with much complication.

won't take no for an answer!

2009-03-14T10:26:00.003Z

I just changed my car insureance last month and they're trying to sell me extra cover I don't want or need and they won't take no for an answer! What part of NO don't they understand the difficult N or the tricky O?

'Allo 'Allo Marathon Part 6

2009-03-14T08:04:00.002Z

it was Red Nose Night so i only had time to watch 2 episodes...

Desperate Doings in the Dungeon - Quite funny episode in which very real plot actually happens! It's all about bondage and transvesticism which are not exactly that high up on my list of personal fetishes.

The Camera in the Potato - Rene catching Gruber in the bath is mildly amusing but this episode is the first time that the Germans are shown to be in less that total control as the RAF start an air raid towards the end of the episode creating a change in the overall basic premise of the story.

Environmental campaigners have lost their High Court battle to block the decision to expand Stansted Airport.

2009-03-13T18:12:00.000Z

The Stop Stansted Expansion (SSE) group was opposing proposals for an additional 10 million passengers a year to use the single, existing runway at the Essex airport. The SSE accused the Government of unlawfully "steamrollering these plans every step of the way".

Aussie politician proves he's still a rock star

2009-03-13T07:39:00.000Z

Australian politician Peter Garrett proved he was still a rock star under the suit when he reunited with his band Midnight Oil, and some commentators on Friday said he showed more passion on stage than in Parliament. Any notion that the former activist singer, and now Australia's Environment Minister, would avoid politically charged songs was blown away as his band performed one of two warm-up gigs ahead of a weekend benefit concert for bushfire victims. In front of a sold-out crowd of 3,000, Midnight Oil kicked off with "Redneck Wonderland" and went on to perform the anti-mining "Blue Sky Mine" and anti-war and anti-establishment songs "When the Generals Talk" and "Read About It."

Texting peer freed after appeal

2009-03-13T07:38:00.001Z

A peer who was jailed last month for 12 weeks for sending and receiving text messages while driving on the M1 has been released by the Court of Appeal. Lord Ahmed, 51, had been involved in a fatal crash minutes after sending the messages on Christmas Day 2007. He hit a stationary car in the outside lane of the M1, killing Martyn Gombar, 28, from Leigh, Greater Manchester. The Appeal Court suspended his sentence because of "exceptional" mitigation relating to his community work. Lord Ahmed served 16 days of his sentence. Road safety charity Brake said it was "appalled" by the decision. The peer had been jailed at Sheffield Crown Court after admitting dangerous driving.

Ronnie Biggs should get his lawyer...

'Allo 'Allo Marathon Part 5

2009-03-12T23:20:00.002Z

The Sausage in the Trousers - A rather funny episode that involves putting large German & Italian sausages down people's trousers, some of which contain dynamite and other contain batteries!

The Jet-Propelled Mother-In-Law - A rather strange episode in which very little happens until the town gets comandeered to pick grapes at the local vinyard then much hilarity ensures when the resistance try to poison the General and then try to blow him up both with spectacular failures...

Radiohead take on Hannah Montanna

2009-03-12T23:18:00.001Z

A week after the Hannah Montana star vowed to "ruin" the multi-Grammy winning band over an apparent snub, the Brit rockers have responded. Radiohead told the young star to grow up.

I have all of Radiohead's CD's, they're one of my favourite bands ever. Who's Hannah Montana, a band?

Madoff admits $50bn fraud scheme

2009-03-12T18:28:00.000Z

Disgraced US financier Bernard Madoff has been jailed after pleading guilty to all 11 charges surrounding an estimated $50bn (£35bn) fraud. Some of his victims clapped when he was handcuffed and led out of a New York courtroom. He had earlier said he was "deeply sorry and ashamed". The 70-year-old defrauded thousands of investors in a fraud he admitted had been running since the early 1990s. Due to be sentenced in June, he could receive up to 150 years.

Serving officers committed crimes

2009-03-12T07:13:00.001Z

Almost 50 serving police officers across the North East and Cumbria have criminal convictions, figures obtained by the Liberal Democrats reveal. The crimes committed include drink driving, assault and fly-tipping.

Nasa space shuttle launch delayed (again)

2009-03-12T07:11:00.000Z

Nasa has delayed the launch of its Discovery shuttle mission to complete the electricity generation system on the International Space Station. A fuel leak meant Wednesday's launch would be delayed until Sunday at the earliest, the US space agency said. Discovery's mission had earlier been delayed by several weeks to give engineers time to investigate the cause of a fractured fuel valve on the last shuttle mission.

Women joining Chelsea pensioners

2009-03-12T07:10:00.000Z

The first women to join the ranks of the Chelsea pensioners are being welcomed with a ceremony. To reflect the growing number of women who have joined the army since the 1950s, they are now being admitted to the Royal Hospital in west London. The uniform has been adapted to suit the female figure and there has even talk of designing an official handbag.

'Allo 'Allo Marathon Parts 3 & 4

2009-03-12T06:51:00.002Z

The Nicked Knockwurst - A rather mundane episode revolving around the communist resistance stealing Herr Flick's sausage and Mme. Edith getting the money to buy it back from M. Alfonse.

Gruber Does Some Mincing - Gruber being captured by von Smallhausen is the funniest bit of this episode

The Sausage in the Wardrobe - There is much hilarity when everyone tries to steal the sausage from von Klinkerhoffen.

Flight of Fancy - The funniest scene is when Hans accidentally flattens Herr Flick's car with a steam roller!

Pretty Maids All in a Row - The airmen are disguised as waitresses at the cafe and Rene hides the painting of the fallen madonna with the big boobies behind a 'worthless paining made by a penniless artist' which turns out to be a rare Van Gogh!

The Great Un-Escape - The airmen, the resistance, the cafe staff and the german colonel and captain all burrow into the British POW camp, where they must all pass themselves off as POW's to avoid detection by von Klinkerhoffen.

Prisoners of War - The escape comittee decide to send Hans over the top of the fence to gain extra rations as well as effect the escape of the colonel and the cafe staff. This is the last appearance of Maria the petite cafe waitress.

Camp Dance - Gruber rescues Rene, the cafe staff & the Colonel and things seem to be back to normal, except the airmen have tagged long with everyone else and are once more in need of the resistance's services.

Good Staff Are Hard to Find - Michelle gives Rene a new waitress, a resistance girl, except she's even shorter than Maria! The scene where she tries to poison Herr Flick and Helga is very funny in a macabre way. This episode also introduces the colonel's new assistant Alberto Bertorelli of the Italian army.

The Flying Nun - Rene gets another new radio (the third in 4 seasons) much of this episode revolves around the ariel for the new radio being disguised as a kite and Mimi literally gets carried away by it!

'Allo 'Allo Marathon - Part 2

2009-03-10T07:11:00.002Z

Red Nick's Colonel - The Colonel and the Captain are captured by the communist resistance and it's up to Rene to get revenge for his dead twin brother. It's pretty funny but not a highlight.

The Dance of Hitler Youth - Helga and Hans' dancing is funny but much of this episode's humour revolves around Herr Flick and a poison dart.

Six Big Boobies - There are now 2 fakes of the photo and Herr Flick has both of them along with the original. He has Gruber determine the real one with a reasonably funny way of ensuring his silence.

The Wooing of Widow Artois - Rene has to woo Edith again to get his cafe back, much to his own personal disgust and the shock of Yvette and Maria.

The Policeman Cometh - The first new cast addition comes in the form of the language mangaling Officer Crabtree a British spy who is to pose as a gendarme as his cover. There is only one problem: Hoz Frinch iz varry bid!

Swiftly and with Style - The return of M. Alfonse, undertaker as he tries to marry Edith but she decides to remarry Rene and M. Alfonse takes great insult and challenges Rene to a duel. Meanwhile the resistance needs as many pairs of silk knickers as it can get to repair a balloon, with a hilarious scene were Le Clerc gets caught!

The Duel - Rene his hiding with the chickens to avoid M. Alfonse, Helga lets slip that the colonel might know about the recently bombed train and he handcuffs her to the chair. The duel itself if a comical farse with Rene wearing an iron coal scuttle under his shirt, however his nerves go and he runs off.

Herr Flick's Revenge - Herr Flick captures Rene, the Colonel and Hans and threatens to torture them unless they reveal the existance of the forged painting, they are saved by the return of General von Klinkerhoffen who releases his officers and a plain french woman who is actually Rene in disguise as a mamber of the resistance.

The Gâteau from the Château - This contains the best line of the series imo: Do you not see that if we kill him with the pill from the till by making with it the drug in the jug, you need not light the candle with the handle on the gateau from the chateau! The whole christmas special has more jokes in it that the previous two seasons and there's even some time for some plot developments too. The escaping Airmen were shot down and landed on the cafe roof and General von Klinkerhoffen has taken command of the whole district.

'Allo 'Allo Marathon - Part 1

2009-03-09T09:34:00.002Z

The British Are Coming - The opening pilot episode, I remember watching this when it was first broadcast, I'd be 9 at the time! This episode sets everything up, life in occupied France, the crooked German officers, the de gaulle resistance helping crashed British airmen escape and the Gestapo looking for an important picture to add to Hitler's collection of stolen art treasures. Despite all this there's plenty of room for comedy, much of it revolving around the staff of Cafe Rene.

The Fallen Madonna - The series proper takes up where the pilot left off, with Rene trying to get rid of the airmen and the German officers hiding their stolen art treasures in Rene's cafe so the Gestapo can't find them. There is much hilarity about suicide rings and making a rope out of bed sheets.

Pigeon Post - The airmen escape as German officers but are captured by the communist resistance! The big laugh in this episode is Gestapo officer Otto Flick in drag, which shows the BBC's attitude towards such things, after turning gay officer Gruber into a one-note cliche.

Saville Row to the Rescue - The main revelation here is that Helga may in fact be Jewish (she utters oy vey in surprise and then quickly covers it up)! Alas this is not built upon in the series and seems to be forgotten. The main joke in this episode revolves around bols gin, which is blue - just like nitro gylcerine...leading to a drunk old woman, exploding hens and a destroyed railway line...

The Execution - Rene is captured and interrogated by guest Nazi General Eric von Klinkerhoffen and sentanced to death. Luckily the Colonel comes up with a plan to save Rene, using wooden bullets to fake his death. Things nearly go wrong but Rene survives his own death.

The Funeral - Rene is forced to impersonate his own twin brother in an attempt to have some sort of life, however things nearly go wrong when Rene has to pretend to be dead so the funeral director M Alfonse can measure him up for his coffin. Things really go wrong however when he hides anti-tank mines in the coffin for the Resistance and they expode during the funeral!

TV magician Ali Bongo dies at 79

2009-03-09T09:24:00.002Z

Bongo - whose real name was William Wallace - also acted as a consultant on programmes including The Paul Daniels Magic Show and Jonathan Creek. The BBC drama's creator David Renwick once said that Bongo's work had inspired its lead character. He became president of The Magic Circle in September and had been giving a lecture in Paris when he fell ill. Bongo's other screen appearances included 1970s children's shows Pauline's Quirkes and The Tomorrow People.

He was great in The Tomorrow People, Revenge of Jedikiah is well worth watching for him doing some good acting both as a stage magician on stage and back stage.

The Romans

2009-03-09T09:19:00.002Z

The first comedy story in Doctor Who's history (and not the last by any means) it mixes pure farce with some darker moments to give the dramatic moments more emphasis and yet it often treats them as dark comedy at the same time. The cast go all out to play the comedy but without taking it too far, they never ruin it by bringing the characters out of the moment, if it wasn't for this story we wouldn't have Zaroff's way OOT celaimations in The Underwater Menace, season 17 or half of the Tenth Doctor's cheeky one liners. The show owes its continued success to this story because it it wasn#t afraid to do something new then later productions probably wouldn't either and the show#s rich diversity would never have happened and the show would probably have been axed when Bill Hartnell decided to leave.

Fantastic 4 & Fantastic 4: RotSS

2009-03-08T16:08:00.002Z

I like Cole from Charmed a lot as Dr. Doom in the first film, he's very much a hottie and bas ass evil too, I have a thing for bad boys I guess. The whole production though feels too sleek, too fake, too unreal. It should be dirtier, more lived in like Wolverine in the first X-Men movie. It comes across as unsincere to the characters. The paper thin plot gets the job done of giving the 4 their powers (and Doom tto but we don't realise that yet) as well as getting Sue and Reed together by the end of the film. The CGI looks cool and Torch learning to fly is great fun to watch.

The second film seems to be in too minds about which story it's trying to tell. On the one hand there's the arrival of the Surfer, heralding the oncoming Galactus and on the other hand there's the return of Dr. Doom and his plan to gain the power of the surfboard. Both storylines fail to mesh with each other throughout the film, although the London scenes were cool (I've been on the London Eye once) and Galactus as smoky deth cloud was better than the weird guy witht he stupid hat in the comics.

I think they need one more chance to try and get it right...

The Rescue

2009-03-07T07:36:00.002Z

This is a meek (by Doctor Who standards) 2 parter which basically retools the show after Susan left and was replaced by a substitute grandaughter figure in the form of Vicki. Its meeksness is also its strength as the show expses the very core of the show, a wandering time traveller comes across a bad situation and tries to make it better. In this case it's orphaned Vicki who's menaced by the nefarious Koquillion while she has to look after the wounded Bennett. She meets Barbara, then Ian and the Doctor and slowly comes to trust them despite a few false starts. The Doctor deduces the truth about Koquillion and he's consigned to a grisly ending before the Doctor offers Vicki a lift around the universe. Vicki jumps at the chance and so the TARDis leaves with a new teenage girl on board to get them into danger and mayhem in the future. It's a wonderfully written character piece that shows us who the three existing main characters are again while also showing us the new girl and letting us see her strengths and weaknesses. So it's good that the story's plot does not overshadow this too much otherwise the whole purpose of the story would have been wasted. Perhaps not the first choice of the action/adventure fan its still a good story especially if you prefer drama with a theatrical bent. This is one story that would easily adapt well as a stage play, throw in a few songs by Elton John and you could have a smash hit musical!

Heroes will be back!

2009-03-07T07:33:00.001Z

Sci-fi TV show Heroes will return for a fourth season! This is great news. Heroes and BSG are my two fave US tv shows at the moment :)

Got my deely boppers ready for next Friday...

2009-03-06T15:16:00.002Z

...cos it's comic relief and I want to do something to show my support and to be honest I do not like the new red noses, they're bloody hideous!

Bad Wolf/The Parting of the Ways

2009-03-06T07:01:00.002Z

The 2 part finale of season 1 of Doctor Who couldn't have started more light heartedly. With the Doctor inside the Big Brother house! Rose gets involved in The Weakest Link and then Captain Jack gets naked in front of billions of viewers (except sadly not any of the Doctor Who viewers). However things take a turn for the worse as it become apparent that game contestants are being murdered for the entertainment of the viewing audience. The shock revelation of the Dalek fleet and the Doctor's promise to rescue Rose and defeat the Daleks is perhaps the coolest moment of the year. The second part delivers on the first part Doctor's promise as he quickly rescues Rose and Jack kills a Dalek in the process. The Daleks attack and start massacaring everyone and the Doctor finds he cannot bring himself to annihilate his enemies. It's up to Rose to defeat them with the power of the universe inside of her head she turns the Daleks to dust and even brings Captain Jack back to life. The Doctor saves Rose but at the cost of his own life and Rose is forced to watch the Doctor burn with the fires of regeneration leaving a new man in the TARDIS, a new Doctor...

Red Dwarf Marathon pt. 12

2009-03-06T06:48:00.002Z

all good things...well until Easter anyway...

Pete (Feature Length Version) 3/10 - It's a mishmas of about ten small ideas thrown together and sellotaped together to try and pretend to be an episode but the mess just doesn't work. The individual bits are good but the whole is not greater than the sum of its parts and the shambling monstocity is best forgotten. The Prisoners vs. Guards basketball match is the highlight of the episode and it occurs near the start so it gives you an idea how bad I thought the rest of the episode is.

Only The Good... 9/10 - Finally they manage to do something fresh and new with the new format and it's to get rid of it! The crew abandon Red Dwarf in droves and Rimmer goes to a mirror universe to find a cure to a virus that's eating the ship but ultimatley fails but the best bit is when he knees death in the groin! The rest of the episode is a delight too, the period gags Lister has Kryten play on Kochanski are outrageously funny. Kryten's revenge is good too and Cat trying to get himself hospitalised is brilliant. Why couldn't they write more episodes like this?

Aid agencies ousted as Bashir charged

2009-03-05T07:02:00.001Z

Aid agencies including Oxfam GB and Save the Children UK have been expelled by Sudan following charges against President Omar al-Bashir. Oxfam confirmed its licence to work in the north of the country has been revoked and said it was appealing the decision. The expulsions follow a decision by the International Criminal Court (ICC) to issue an arrest warrant for al-Bashir on war crimes charges in Darfur.

Red Dwarf Marathon pt. 11

2009-03-05T06:36:00.003Z

Back in the Red (Xtended) 7/10 - All three parts edited together with some extra unseen bits to make it even better and it needs it, the tissue thin plot needs all the characterisation it can get, because unlike VII which sometimes focused on plot at the expense of the jokes (which I liked) VIII focuses on the jokes at the expense of the plot. The plot here is the crew are arrested, put on trial and found innocent of that crime but guilty of another, it could all be done in just one episode! However it would lose a lot of the cool jokes in the process, like Cat and Blue Midget dancing, the Duane Dibley gag, the claymation bit and the multiple escape attempts could have been cobbled together into just one. It gets high marks for the gags, not the rest.

Cassandra 6/10 - It tries hard to be a cool story ala Aliens but it fails badly as it quickly returns to Red Dwarf on autopilot. Kochanski being seduced by pre-determinism theory is the only real highlight as the rest of the story is hardly new. Cassandra herself comes across as a mix between Queeg and Dr. Landstrom and not in a good way.

Krytie TV 5/10 - Now they're not even bothering as we get a weird mix of reality TV show and prank show ala Jeremy Beadle. The appeal over guitar strings is the only half way interesting idea and is the cause of all the good jokes in the story, and there's nowhere near enough of them.

The Green Mile

2009-03-04T06:23:00.002Z

I've been reading this book on and off for the last few days (in the little mini book form) It's certainly a very powerful book with lots of rich characterisation and deep attention to detail. There's a sense of resigned finality about the guards as they process their prisoners. The rituals of their duties comes across as interesting and it all leads up to the finale when they both break their little ways and stick to them as tightly as possible at the same time. The prisoners are all shown realistically, both have their good sides as well as their bad sides, except William Wharton (aka Billy the Kid) who either has no redeeming features or he goes out of his way to not let it show through. The Pres and The Chief are minor characters just there to show life before John Coffey arrived on the Green Mile. The three main prisoners are Delacroix, Coffey and Wharton and their lives and deaths feature the most heavily in the events of the books. There's a few minor sub plots that seem there just for added depth of character but slowly they become part of the main plot which is just genius writing. The story is one of sadness, despair, lonliness and isolation which suits a death row facility perfectly, and yet there's an innocence about the characters too because none of them are quite prepared for the whirlwind of destruction that is Billy the Kid even the seasoned guards are taken back by him a couple of times. It's one helluva book go and read it for yourselves...

Red Dwarf Marathon pt. 10

2009-03-04T06:15:00.001Z

Epideme 9/10 - A very interesting concept about a super-mutated artificial virus, especially with the current row over GM foods being forced on the public before any safety trials having been done. Dave should have argued for a symbiotic relationship with the virus as it would have bought him more time to find a cure. Although the Kochanski/Kryten 2 part cure does lead into a good cliffhanger ending and for once its not at the end of the season...

Nanarchy 10/10 - Following on from last week Kryten tries to give Lister an artificial arm with hilarious consequences and their eventual means of finding a cure leads them back to...Red Dwarf! But it's in the form of a small planetoid! Seeing Holly's face again is a great moment (although I wonder/worry if they're going to have any Holly at all in the forthcoming Back to Earth special) The story ends with the return of Red Dwarf for real although there maybe a little problem, or rather make that a big one...

the day the earth nearly stood still

2009-03-03T18:47:00.002Z

An asteroid of a similar size to a rock that exploded above Siberia in 1908 with the force of a thousand atomic bombs whizzed close past Earth on Monday, astronomers said on Tuesday. 2009 DD45, estimated to be between 21 and 47 meters (68 and 152 feet) across, raced by at 1344 GMT on Monday, the Planetary Society and astronomers' blogs reported. The gap was just 72,000 kilometers (44,750 miles), or a fifth of the distance between Earth and the Moon and only twice the height of satellites in geosynchronous orbit, the website space.com said. The estimated size is similar to that of an asteroid or comet that exploded above Tunguska, Siberia, on June 30 1908, flattening 80 million trees in a swathe of more than 2,000 square kilometres (800 square miles).

Lembit Öpik has been calling for a space watch programme for years now, this is the sort of thing it would have found and been able to deal with had it been on a terminal impact course, lucky for us it wasn't becuase we cou;dn't have stopped it...

Red Dwarf Marathon pt. 9

2009-03-03T06:49:00.002Z

Duct Soup 10/10 - Wonderful, wonderful episode, it really goes into characterisation mode and not a spare second of script is wasted. We find out more about some of the characters in this episode than we did in the last 6 seasons! Kochanski's childhood, the rusty gate, Lister's claustrophobia, squeeky Gibson, Kryten's jealousy and even Cat's mild sociopathy! Plus Kryten's star wars joke about Kochanski's attire is funny but not as funny as Kochanski's complaints about men (because they're good observations) and them watching her knickers spin dry!

Blue 9/10 - The remember that Rimmer guy episode, but it's much more memorable for two things: that kiss and that song. The comet scene at the start is ok because it leads to Cat's preening gag and has the potato salad line too. The Rimmer Experience is just wet you knickers hilarious and the song is just outstandingly brilliant. The show only loses a point because of the medibay scene that somehow just seems to exist to perpetuate kryten's jealousy of Kochanski.

Beyond A Joke 8/10 - The big Kryten episode, yet there's far too much focus on the Gelfs and simulants that pull focus from Kryten and his green brother Abel. The T72 tank joke is brilliant and Jane Austin World is a great idea although Lister dressed as a priest is just bizarre! Despite its flaws and occasionally corny line the story is enjoyable and fun. Scuttling thing ala monkey wrench should be on every menu too.

Red Dwarf Marathon pt. 8

2009-03-02T06:21:00.002Z

Rimmerworld 6/10 - It's got some great gags in it but everything between the funnies is rather plain and quite dull. The first clone of Rimmer is quite funny to watch (and with a yummy bum) but just not really gripping.

Out of Time 8/10 - Much more funny as first we're led to think Lister is a robot, then things get really strange! Then the older versions of the crew turn up and Lister is doing a cool Morbius impression. Then the ending's upon us with all its shocking glory. Still it has its faults, if anythign the story could do with a longer run time to properly explore the unreality bubbles more, to really go into the time paradox in greater detail and also to give Rimmer's rare heroics just a little extra oomph because it's so rare.

Tikka to Ride 7/10 - The extended version is much better imo because the original story just lacked a few things, like a beginning and an end. Here we have a glorious CGI intro showing Starbug in deepest space. The actual story is quite interesting but not especially so with too much time spent wandering about doing very little, but its for a reason as it builds up to the cannibal scene. I don't know why Cat's so worried, as he's not human so it's ok for him to dine on BBQ human.

Identity Within 5/10 - Despite it being abily performed by Chris Barrie this lost episode is not exactly the world's greatest story. There's much of it that's quite boring and even unfunny. Perhaps much of it would have been ironed out with a final redraft before it was made but it was passed over because it was too epic, apparently. Cat as the central figure is a great idea but he deserves a story that really lets him grow and stretch his character, here he's usued as the comedy sidekick when he's supposed to be the hero!

Stoke Me A Clipper... 9/10 - Ace is back and he's more Bond than ever! What a guy! The idea that 'our' Rimmer could replace Ace is brilliant. Rimmer trying to imitate Ace is just hilarious as he really fails to carry it off with any conviction. But in the end he decides to give it a go anyway, although given how many Ace's had died since they last met that may not be a wise move.

Ouroboros 9/10 - Rimmer's gone but Kochanski's back! Sporting a new face and taste in clothes she reenters Dave's life like a pain in the tooth. It's a great story that really sets up the character dynamics for the rest of the season. Lister loves Kris. Kryten's totally jealous. Kris despises everyone and Cat likes Kris more than Rimmer but not as much as Lister. The alternate Lister is pretty cool but rather timid, I have no idea what Kochanski sees in him, I prefer alternate Cat he's much more handsome.

Things I plan to buy before my birthday

2009-03-01T14:07:00.001Z

1. A suspender belt
I own lots of regular lingerie already but a sussie belt is just totally exudes feminine chic and I so want to wear one to not only see what i look in one but to help me feel more feminine and sexully alluring to men (for when I eventually want a boyfriend - as it's not fair on them to make them wait for me to complete my long journey to womanhood)

2. A 12 inch dildo
I've masturbated with smaller dildos and vibes but I really want to feel a foot long whopper inside of my body and I don't want to get another year older before I find out what it feels like to be fucked by one :)

3. Heeled Boots
I own plenty of heeled shoes and flats but I don't have a pair of heeled boots and i really want to own a pair of them.

4. Some girly glasses
My glasses are pretty unisex but I want some that are more feminine and girly to give me that little extra help so I pass even better.

Dydd Gwyl Dewi Hapus

2009-03-01T13:43:00.000Z

Happy St. David's day everyone :)

Psychedelic fish 'is new species'

2009-03-01T08:00:00.000Z

A brightly-coloured fish which bounces along the seabed has been hailed as a new species by scientists - who have dubbed it "psychedelica". Research published in the US scientific journal Copeia says the fish was spotted by scuba divers off the island of Ambon in eastern Indonesia. It belongs to the frogfish family, but its looks are unique even among its peers, the journal reported. The question with this new discovery is how it went unnoticed for so long. The new psychedelica frogfish is completely covered in swirling concentric stripes - white and blue on a peach background - radiating out from its aqua-coloured eyes. It has a broad flat face, thick fleshy cheeks and chin, and eyes that look forward like a human's. The fish was spotted by divers off the coast of Ambon island last year.

Red Dwarf Marathon pt. 7

2009-03-01T06:51:00.003Z

Psirens 7/10 - A reboot to the series with the action moved out of Red Dwarf entirely and now located on the much smaller and claustrophobic Starbug, although it has some new sets and a complete redesign to compensate. The brief return of Kochanski is as nothing to the sight of Lister french kissing a Psiren!

Legion 7/10 - Another by-the-book story, the minimal plot is hidden behind a great new innovation: Rimmer's new hardlight body. He quickly becomes the butt of some very physical food gags, ie he's platsered with food!

Gunmen of the Apocalypse 8/10 - It won an Emmy but it's not the best episode ever made, that said it's not awful either, it's really enjoyable but somehow all the disperate elements feel too forced together and the story never quite knows what it wants to be about.

Emohawk - Polymorph II 9/10 - A triple sequel! There's the sequel to the classic episode Polymorph, A return of Ace Rimmer from Dimension Jump and Duane Dibbley from Back to Reality. The stuff with the GELF's almost seem superfulous as the action is set mostly in Starbug. Ace's plan to kill himself and Duane to save Lister & Kryten is very funny too in a horrifying sort of way.

Futurama - Into the Wild Green Yonder

2009-02-28T19:04:00.002Z

Perhaps the final Futurama story ever, but I hope not. The series is far better than The Simpsons, it's got a much more open formart, much more interesting characters and better vocal talent too (imo). It's such a shame to see how it got cancelled so suddenly, then brought back again and now it faces another uncertain future. The story is a pretty interesting one with lots of small subplots all about ecology and preserving habititats for endangered species as well as a larger story about good and evil and tinfoil hats. There's a few nods to past stories, the bugaloo one with the Martians comes immediatly, and the pilot with the career chips. All in all it's a good episode to end on and yet leaves you wanting more, more, more...

9/10

Red Dwarf Marathon pt. 6

2009-02-28T17:40:00.003Z

for me Red Dwarf V is the best over all season of the show, although I do like almost all of VII too :)

Holoship 9/10 - A wonderful Rimmer episode to start the season with, finally he has a real loving relationship with a woman and he sacrifices all he ever wanted to give her what she wanted, it's a real tear jerker ending that comes out of nowhere and really shows a different side to Rimmer who's usually despisted by all.

The Inquisitor 10/10 - Fantastic! A brilliant script full of witty ideas and it gets time travel right for a change, and the showdown between Lister and the Inquisitor is just genius. Full marks for the innovative use of a severed hand in a sitcom...

Terrorform 9/10 - Another Rimmer episode, this one treats him much more like usual, and the use of the Copocabana music is great. The Taranshula gag too is just outstanding.

Quarantine 10/10 - Just when you think the show can't get any better it does and what an episode too. First of all there's the usual Rimmer humiliation scene, then he goes crazy and wears a dress as he sucumbs to a holovirus and then there's the funny ending as the others get their revenge on him by putting him through what he did to them, marvellous!

Demons & Angels 11/10 - The 'high' versions of the crew are funny but the 'low' versions are much funnier still. It's interesting to see the hippies and then the hells angels and the evil Holly is a wonderful Elvira-esque change to her usual blonde bimbo look. Of special sickening note is the scene where Lister is forced to eat a tarantula, that gives it the extra bonus mark.

Back To Reality 10/10 - The season goes out on the most format stretching storyline so far, making the crew and the viewers think that the past 5 years has been a Total Immersion Video Game (ala Better Than Life) but they're entirely different people than who they thought they were. The guest cast is great too with that guy from Harry Potter and the really weird one from Twin Peaks putting in two memorable and all too short appearances.

Closing Time Miss Brahms

2009-02-26T18:30:00.003Z

Are You Being Served actress Wendy Richard has died at the age of 65, her agent has confirmed. The star, who also played Pauline Fowler in the BBC One soap opera EastEnders for 21 years, had been suffering from cancer. Her agent Kevin Francis said: "She was incredibly brave and retained her sense of humour right to the end." Last October, Richard revealed she had an aggressive, terminal form of cancer. Soon after that she married her long-term partner John Burns. Francis said the star passed away in the Harley Street Clinic in London with her husband by her side.

Spider-Man musical set for 2010

2009-02-26T07:14:00.000Z

A musical based on the Marvel comic book hero Spider-Man will open on Broadway in 2010. Spider-Man: Turn Off the Dark will include the story of the superhero's origins and will feature music and lyrics by U2 members Bono and The Edge.

Is it the 1st of April today???

Text Driving Crash

2009-02-26T07:11:00.000Z

Lord Ahmed, 51, pleaded guilty to driving dangerously in the Christmas Day tragedy on the M1 near Rotherham, South Yorkshire, last year. He sent and received a series of five text messages while driving at 60mph in the dark along a 17-mile stretch of the motorway. His elderly mother and his wife were passengers in the car at the time. Shortly afterwards he collided with an Audi which was stationary in the fast lane of the motorway after crashing into the central reservation. Slovakian Martyn Gombar, 28, who was living in Leigh, Lancashire, died.

Red Dwarf Marathon pt. 5

2009-02-26T07:04:00.003Z

White Hole 9/10 - A superb story, it starts off with one idea, about making Holly smarter and effortlessly transitions into a much wider and more interesting one about playing pool with planets to repair the space-time continuum. The series has really evolved beyond its early ship-bound character-orientated beginnings into a wonderfully comedic space saga.

Dimension Jump 10/10 - Ace Rimmer - what a guy and how jealous am I of Mellie? There's so little time for things too because once things are over they're over, there's not one dull moment in the story, it doesn't allow you to get bored with any flat bits in the script as they've all been replaced by gags or character moments.

Meltdown 8/10 - Another great story and a great way to round off the 4th season. Rimmer gets the chance to live his dream as a great military leader and although he does win he also wipes out his own side too! The Caligula interrogation scene is a riot as he keeps slapping Lister when Cat speaks, much to Lister's chargrin. Also the celebrity impersonators actually look like who they're supposed to be, which isn't always the case in some shows.

Lent

2009-02-25T19:12:00.000Z

I've decided to give chocolate up for Lent!